Life is a journey

I had my weigh-in today and I'm down 2.2lbs.

Wish I could say I'm pleased but it doesn't feel like an accomplishment. I didn't complete my goals that I made for myself last week. The loss was from not eating properly. I had a few days I just didn't care to eat. Life is getting the better of me. I'm really trying hard to focus on getting healthy but every time I think I can I get side tracked from life.

Ive lived almost 40 years now you would think it would have taught me a few things? I was laying in bed last night, pondering why? Why do I let others make me feel so bad. I have spent a majority of my life pleasing others, worrying and always being careful to say just the right thing to them so I dont hurt thier feelings. Im always concerned with others even if I know it will hurt me in the end. Its time to understand they are who they are and there is nothing I can do to change them. I can change the way I let them effect me though.

 I go about my day every day and think of things I can do to help others or better myself. I'm starting to wonder does anyone else do this? Why is it so hard to be nice, is thinking about your self selfish or a thing that needs to happen in order to preserve your heart?

I choose to live being positive, I choose to think and speak positively. 

I have to put a end to it, the craziness of it all is to much to bare, Im not going to feed into the hurt anymore. Ive done what I can and Ive come to the conclusion it will never be enough. So its time to let go of what could have been what I wanted to be.

Life is to short to cry everyday, to be idle in the past, and forgiveness is a must. If I dont forgive I will carry this cross for the rest of my life. I forgive the people that robbed me of my childhood, I forgive the people who took my daughters childhood. I forgive the ones who spoke without knowing. I forgive the ones who have hurt me beyond repair. Im letting go of this pain Ive carried for so many years I give it back to those who created the misery. Im not your prisoner any more.

Im set free!!

So onto a new week, I'm not sure what it has in store for me but I know one thing, Im in control of my feelings, and I will not surrender to the pain.

Peace Love Happiness

~SHAWN~